Knowing My Values as a Parent: The Key to Reducing Anxiety
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Parenting can be overwhelming. There’s always something to do, decisions to make, and expectations to meet. I used to go through life reacting to what happened rather than making intentional choices based on what truly mattered to me. This led to frustration, stress, and anxiety. But then I realized something, I could anchor myself in something solid: my values.
Knowing my values as a parent is like having a map. It helps me navigate life’s challenges with confidence and peace. When I know what matters most, I can make decisions without second-guessing myself, reducing anxiety and uncertainty.
Why Knowing My Values Matters
Imagine a ship without a compass. It gets tossed around by every wave, unsure of where it’s going. That’s how I felt at times, just going with the flow, trying to keep up, but feeling lost.
My values are my compass. They guide my decisions, shape my priorities, and help me set boundaries. Without clear values, I found myself pressured to do things that didn’t align with what was important to me, leading to stress and exhaustion.
For example, my values as a parent are:
Keeping Jesus at the centre of my family.
Respecting others, regardless of their background or beliefs.
Prioritising my relationship with Christ, family, business, and job.
Because I know these are my core values, I make decisions around them. This helps me avoid unnecessary worry because I trust that I’m living according to what truly matters to me.
How I Identified My Values as a Parent
If you don’t already know your values, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:
What is most important to me in life?
What kind of example do I want to set for my children?
What principles guide my decision-making?
What do I want my children to learn from me?
I made a list of my top 3-5 values. Once I identified them, I started using them to guide my parenting decisions.
Using My Values to Reduce Anxiety
Once I knew my values, I began using them as an anchor when life got stressful. Here’s how:
1. Prioritizing What Truly Matters
When life feels overwhelming, I take a step back and ask: “Is this aligned with my values?” If something isn’t truly important, I let it go. I focus on what matters most.
2. Making Decisions with Confidence
I used to stress over decisions, wondering if I was doing the right thing. But when my decisions are based on my values, I can trust them. For example, if family time is a core value, I don’t feel guilty for saying no to an extra work commitment in order to spend time with my kids.
3. Setting Boundaries to Protect My Peace
Anxiety often comes from feeling stretched too thin. If something doesn’t align with my values, I remind myself that it’s okay to say no. My time and energy are valuable—so I use them wisely.
4. Building a Daily Routine Around My Values
A simple mindset shift has helped me reduce stress: I see rest and relaxation as a necessary part of my life, not just an afterthought.
I start my day with something enjoyable, like prayer, reading, or a short walk.
I schedule small breaks throughout the day, a cup of tea, stretching, or a deep breath can do wonders.
I make sure to have something to look forward to every day, whether it’s family dinner, a hobby, or quiet time with God.
5. Avoiding Comparison and External Pressure
I used to feel anxious when I compared myself to other parents. But I’ve learned that their values may be different from mine. Instead of trying to meet society’s expectations, I focus on what aligns with my beliefs and priorities.
An Example: Adwoa’s Story
Adwoa is a mother of three who used to feel overwhelmed by parenting. She constantly worried about whether she was doing enough. But when she took time to identify her values, faith, family, and personal growth, she started making decisions that aligned with them. She prioritized family time, let go of unnecessary commitments, and scheduled regular moments of rest. As a result, her anxiety decreased, and she felt more at peace.
Final Thoughts
Parenting will always come with challenges, but knowing my values has given me clarity and peace. It helps me make confident decisions, set healthy boundaries, and avoid unnecessary stress. Living according to my values means I can parent with purpose instead of panic.
So take a moment today, what are your values? Write them down, reflect on them, and let them guide you toward a calmer, more intentional parenting journey.
